Reflections

For those who are unaware, I work at a Dialysis center. . . which is basically a temporary/long term deal. See, the only way you stop coming to dialysis treatments is to get a new kidney, or the other option. . . you die. We see our patients 4 hours a day, 3 days a week. That a lot of hours together with someone. When I first started working there about 6 months ago I honestly didn't think I would see very much death or that I would build such strong and close relationships with my patients. But as I have spent more and more time there, it has been amazing the events that have taken place. Over the past 2 or 3 months, we have lost about 11 or 12 + patients. Some went unexpectedly while others, it was a long time coming. Still, I was not prepared for the depth of emotions that come when you watch someone's existence slip into that strange sphere of time and space that you know to be our eternal place in the universe. This past Friday, one of my dearest patients with whom I was particularly close, passed away. He decided to stop coming in for treatments (which we call "signing off") and enjoy his remaining days pain free at home with his family. This man was one of the sweetest, dearest human beings I have ever known. He was always in ill health, and yet he was one of the most optimistic, happiest patients I've encountered. He would bring his family in and introduce me to them as his friend, Katie. Not his dialysis technician, not his caregiver, but his friend. As I read about his astounding life in his obituary today, so many small, inconsequential moments kept flooding into my brain like water running over the edge of the bathtub. A tiny touch on the hand, the way his face would light up when I saw him, his cute little cane, a simple thank you that was so sincere and heartfelt you just wanted to break all professionalism and hug the sweet little old man. I guess the point of this long, somewhat scattered mass of words is that life is amazing, and the only thing important in it is the relationships that we have, the lives we enrich. I don't remember what clothes he wore, I don't know what kind of car he drove. I remember the way his spirit touched mine and those small moments of two kind hearts connecting in service, in charity. I love my line of work. To be able to be with someone through a painful ordeal and to have the opportunity to make it just a little less terrible, to bring a smile where there once was a grimace of pain and fear, is the greatest joy I have ever known. Never underestimate the power of kindness and giving of ones self.

Perfect Day

American Fork Canyon. So Beautiful.

We had to crawl on all fours to get around
the hillside, which was pure dirt.

The roomies: Emerald, Me, Marjie

It takes a buff woman to hike Stuart Falls.

Saturday was the perfect day. First of all, I haven't had a Saturday off from work in who knows how long. So sleeping in until 11:00 was simply amazing. Especially because normally I am awake by 4:30 ready for work. Guh. It was a productive day and also a super fun day. Perfect. I got my car washed. . . and vacuumed out inside. (which I had to do because there were 5 whole blades of grass on the mats. . . now that I've bought my own car I suddenly understand why my Dad always bugged me to keep the car clean! Sorry Dad!) Then I went for a scooter ride and ended up rolling down a hill for about an hour-which may sound lame but was actually incredibly fun! It's surprisingly relaxing to pretend like you're five years old again. Then was the best part. . . My roommate and her boyfriend and I and some other friends all hiked to Stuart Falls in American Fork Canyon. So fun!! It was a perfectly warm summer day, and as we hiked up the not-too-steep-trail, surrounded by aspen's, evergreens, ferns, and lots of beautiful flowers, it was so nice to enjoy nature. We finally reached the falls, which were BEAUTIFUL. In spite of being covered with dirt, having extremely bad hat hair, a few bugs in my hair and being a little overly sun kissed, it was one of the most fun things I've done thus far in Provo. Gotta love summer.

One Year Ago . . .

Hooray for a new computer! I finally got it set up thanks to my brother who is slightly more electronically inclined than myself. Thanks Alex!

One year ago, Caitlin and I were roommates in University Villa just south of BYU campus. She and Zach were engaged and Caitlin and I survived on corn dogs and the Wendy's dollar menu. (Some things never change . . . ) It's crazy how fast time goes! Now, Zach and Caitlin have been married almost a year and they are expecting a little baby boy in October. Everything in my life has changed completely, too much to list it all on a blog. The point is, things change and it's crazy how fast it goes sometimes. It's amazing how life never turns out the way you expect. . . it somehow manages to be better than you'd hoped. Anyways this is somewhat of an abstract thought but I guess I have just been pondering about how truly wonderful life is. These pictures capture last summer all in one brief moment.